Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
