And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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