im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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