Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
