hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
