Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
