I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
