420 ftw
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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