Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
