I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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