it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
