I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize