There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
