There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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