He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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