I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize