Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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