In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
