DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
