sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
