I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
