Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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