Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Holy shit dude........stairs
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
