Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It was like giving head to a cactus.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
