"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just googled if crying burns calories
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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