Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I'm really busy with my period
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