I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
