Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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