She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
