Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
