Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
