So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
