laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
