Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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