I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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