eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
