I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize