hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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