Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Man, jail baloney is awful.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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