I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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