btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
