I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize