she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
