I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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