Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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