Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When did angry sex become our thing?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
