I think I am morally bankrupt
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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