I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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