Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
