idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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