I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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