just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
