Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
