Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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