It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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