i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
