Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
