Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
