its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
